Little Brother

"Little Brother"

I didn’t yell or scream
But I did throw in a few “hells” and “fucks”
I was worried, I was scared
And his calmness irritated me
It was like he didn’t expect us to care
As I read him the riot act
I couldn’t help but feeling like
I was losing him
Like he was withdrawing from me
But I had every right

Yet I was wrong and couldn’t figure out where I went wrong
He was so used to raised words and harsh adjectives
That I didn’t want him to hear them from me
I didn’t want him to know that my hurt also called for release
So instead I pushed down on the anger that hurt causes
I talk with him not to him or through him
I gave him room to air his feelings
Once he asked me how I was doing
I lied, I said fine
He didn’t need to know
That being the one everyone runs to was taking a toll

I just want the best for him
I want him to have a better view of the world
I want him to live without raised voices and harsh adjectives as the norm
I want him to go out with friends
But I also want him to call when he’s late
To acknowledge that the world is a scary place
Something could happen
But “I can take care of myself” he says
But who is going to take care of me
If something happens to you