Today marks not only the end of a year, but it also marks the end of a decade. Ten years have come and gone and during those ten years I’ve done and learned a lot. I went from a child to a teenager to a young adult to an adult. So many changes and periods of immeasurable growth filled these past ten years for me. From lows to highs and everything in between. As I look back over the years, I can honestly say that I would chance a lot of things if I could but it wouldn’t make a difference because the same thing would have happened in a different form or fashion. I was meant to be the person I am and had those things not happen, I wouldn’t be the woman I am today. I like to think of myself as a woman on the rise. By no means have I reached my full potential but I’m working on it.
I can talk about how many things that occurred in this decade. I will talk some about those things but what I really want to focus on is the four big lessons I learned through trial and error. June 2010 marked the 10th anniversary of me running away from home. I had many firsts: more than any other decade of my life can compete with. I graduated four times: high school, college, and graduate school twice. I went through breakups and heart breaks. I lost loved ones and gained loved ones. All that and more and the four most important lessons for me are as follows…
Ask for help: I now have Netflix and I saw this movie with Sandra Bullock called 28 Days. In it she is in rehab for her drinking problem. I’m this particular rehab you can be assigned to where a sign around your neck as a part of your therapy/treatment. Her sign read: Confront me if I don’t ask for help. A sign like that should have been hanging around my neck for the better part of this past decade. I didn’t ask for help and tried my very best, succeeding 95% of the time, to not sure that I needed help. It’s a hard road trying to do it on your own. Even though I didn’t ask for help I had people, namely my sister, give me help and advice unsolicited. I learned to ask for help and not be hurt if I was denied it because in all honestly that the reason I was afraid to ask in the first place.
It takes more than one: You cannot make things work on your own. Life is a group activity. Whether we think so or not life is defined by the connections we make with each other. One person cannot make a friendship, romance, work relationship, any relationship work. The more that one person tries the more that one person suffers.
Giving up is not quitting: The last lesson leads right into this one. Sometimes giving up is the best thing to do. It makes no sense trying to hold on to something or do something that is not good for you. I’ve tried and caused myself many a heartaches and long periods where I was so sick and weak that it’s no wonder that I suffer from some of the ailments that I do. The most significant because of the time frame is migraines. I’ve suffered from migraines since 2002.
Family is not always blood, but blood is always family: The singer Maxwell tweeted this line and it perfectly sums up the lesson I learned. Some of the people I considered to be my closest family isn’t even related to me, friend and family friends. I have some family members that are more enemies that family. I have family that doesn't talk to me before they don't talk to my sister or my mother. Then I have some family members that would steal my identity, yep it happened. Some that will pull weapons on me, yep it’s happened. And other still that would see me burn alive before wasting their saliva to spit on me. But they are my family and for the most part I despise love them.
So to sum up, life is a learning process and I’m glad 2000-2010 has taught me so much. What have you learned about life? About yourself? About people around you? What are your take aways for the past decade?
Signed,
It is the struggle that strengthens...
No comments:
Post a Comment